Hockey’s back!

The rest of the world has no pucks to give.

For Christmas cards, one of the most common request are peoples’ various OC’s. I never really understood the appeal of having one, I only want to create one so that I have something to bring to the table during a sketch trade. My OC will probably be a moetron-esque Frankenstein of vanilla flavors. Or I could pander towards less represented fetishes. But I’m not that much of a team player. This is a topic for a different excerpt of bullshits.

When it comes to requests, drawing OC’s are a different sort of production. On the surface, I’m still drawing turds of various sizes and descriptions. And in the great world of televised and published turds, there have been a lot to draw. Big ones, small ones, some creviced and curvaceous, and others a smooth soft-serve of inner rectum. The defining features are obvious with those well seen products; place the corn in the right spot, a constriction at 1/3rd length, or a hard chamfered end. It’s different with OC’s. You aren’t drawing a turd held in the client’s adoration, you’re drawing /their/ turd. From raw material consumption, to the private moment of birth, it’s a very intimate process that creates an original character. The creator knows what they wanted, whether or not they were capable of controlling the unconscious processing of source materials, or had the sphynctor dexterity to mold it into shape. That’s what they’re asking me to recreate, not the actual reference image given.

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At least that’s what I think. I’m pretty sure many creations are flushed into the tubes after a quick glance to check for blood and tapeworms. Nonetheless, a lot of effort is spent reading into the composition of the amalgam. Did they purposely swallow a handful of watermelon seeds, or was it just really hot that day? Could the slow tapering be on purpose, or was the rate of ejection just too quick? What is this other foreign object? I can’t possibly create that with the tools at my disposal.

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Or the fabled super shits. 3 footers littered with a perfect balance of solid and slurry; or cute rabbit shits from obviously untainted virgin anus of considerable strength. I am simply not capable.

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But damn it, I’ll try. I’ll eat a low fiber diet of protein and muffins. I’ll drink a bottle of hot sauce with raw chicken. Because a man’s throne must accept all challengers.

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3 Comments

  1. Hey I see my turd in there 😀

  2. Eheh, did you take January 20th, 21st, and 22nd all for yourself on purpose?

    Hmm.. Speaking of OC’s. I have yet to design one without shorts, pants, or any known visible panties as of yet.. HOW SHAMEFUL! I hope this doesn’t change our friendship, pantsu!! :'(

  3. You’re shit’s great as always, panties!


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